It's a year today that me and SB split up. I have been single for a year. Single. Something i thought i wanted when i left him after 5 years together.
Single. It's a shitty little word that is used to describe a person's current life status. Often you are asked by people of both genders 'Are you Single?' why not 'Are you successful?' or 'Are you a serial killer?!'
I had never really 'felt' single until the last few weeks, when it seems like my life has become focused on nothing more than finding the perfect man. I look for him everywhere, public transport, Martin Place, Food courts, shopping centres and of course bars. A weekend or night out is now planned around where all the hotties may be. Don't get me wrong it was fun for a while, but today it doesn't feel fun anymore. I feel terribly single. I am in a much better place then i was 6 months ago and genuinely feel like i have moved on, but i miss being with someone who knows everything about you, who loves you, who holds you, someone you can go home to. Everyone around me seems to have found their partner and i am tired of hearing the sentence 'you'll find someone.'
Maybe i wont, maybe i let go of my one shot of not ending up alone. Maybe he is not out there. Maybe i am destined to be eternally single?
Sy
08 May, 2008
07 May, 2008
Writers Block
This is the 4th time that i have sat at this computer with a view of writing a new post.....................
Nothing!
I cannot think of anything worth writing about. I mean i could tell you that i decided to go brunette having always been a blonde but have noticed a distinct decline in the number of chat up lines coming my way so have booked to go back to blonde next week. Guess we do have more fun.
I could bore you with the details of my last weekend which involved going to the Ivy on Saturday night which is supposed to be 'the' place to go in the city but being completed bored so ended up in Hugo's lounge in Kings Cross dancing to 80's cheese and finishing up at 4am pissed as a fart. Brilliant.
I could also spill all the details on my flatmates K's recent cliche encounter with her MARRIED personal trainer!
I could tell you that the dick head i met in the bar with the 'girlfriend' seems to be everywhere i turn as if a constant reminder that i cant have him, and that i have developed a strange flirting regime with the guy that makes my skinny latte every morning despite not fancying him at all.
But none of it really seems to matter, i feel very uninspired, i feel bored.
Can i really be tired of Sydney and my new life already?
Nothing!
I cannot think of anything worth writing about. I mean i could tell you that i decided to go brunette having always been a blonde but have noticed a distinct decline in the number of chat up lines coming my way so have booked to go back to blonde next week. Guess we do have more fun.
I could bore you with the details of my last weekend which involved going to the Ivy on Saturday night which is supposed to be 'the' place to go in the city but being completed bored so ended up in Hugo's lounge in Kings Cross dancing to 80's cheese and finishing up at 4am pissed as a fart. Brilliant.
I could also spill all the details on my flatmates K's recent cliche encounter with her MARRIED personal trainer!
I could tell you that the dick head i met in the bar with the 'girlfriend' seems to be everywhere i turn as if a constant reminder that i cant have him, and that i have developed a strange flirting regime with the guy that makes my skinny latte every morning despite not fancying him at all.
But none of it really seems to matter, i feel very uninspired, i feel bored.
Can i really be tired of Sydney and my new life already?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
