You may be thinking how in gods name did i get myself in this situation - well here is the short(ish) story!Basically i cocked up - after having an amazing relationship i finished with my boyfriend of 5 years as i thought 'SHOCK HORROR' that the grass was greener. In a rather cruel blow by the time i realised i had made a huge mistake and wanted him back 4 months later he had got himself another girlfriend. Not just an ordinary girlfriend - a 19 year old, cute little girlfriend! This was the man that said he would always love me, i was his soulmate and he thought we would be together again someday - lying bastard!
Being heartbroken is bad enough, but being heartbroken with no-one to blame but yourself is soul destroying. In one last ditch attempt i told him how i felt (via text of course!) but back came the dreaded words 'i don't love you anymore, i have moved on and im very happy now!' He wasn't just happy he was very happy. How could he haved moved on that quickly - did the last 5 years mean nothing?!!I remember the day i told my mum how i felt 'well it just goes to show that the grass is not always greener on the other side!' Ouch.
I had to get away, i wasn't ready to face it was over and deal with the mistake i had made - i live in a very small town and the chances of me bumping into them in Tesco's supermarket when i look like shit were huge! The first time i saw them together i threw up - physically threw up! Everytime i drive past his house my heart sinks and the crying...!! The random crying where you don't know what triggered it but you cant stop. This is not me.....i cant spend the next year doing this, it's pathetic.
I had always wanted to travel and after a chat with my best friend who made me realise i need to take a positive from all of this and get away so before i really thought it through i had applied for an Australian working visa, quit my great job and booked a one way flight to Sydney. The weather is good, the men are georgeous and i cant get further away from the 'happy couple'......what could go wrong?!
So i am doing this blog as a reminder of how i felt, to document all the things that happen and so my friends and family are able to see how im doing.
Let's see if the grass is greener on the other side of the world!!
Sy
4 comments:
Great blog...nothing like getting away to get over a man!!! You will have an amazing adventure..and already have your single (gay) buddy. Look me up in Sydney!
You are a brave girl!!!
Have read your first post and am already hooked! if it's any consolation, I broke up with my ex and had the whole crying at him, begging him to come back scenario as well, thinking I had made the biggest mistake of my life but you realise eventually that you break up with them for a reason and while it might not feel great now, you will eventually stop feeling like you made a mistake ('it's called a break up for a reason' is a brilliant book!). How can trekking off to Australia for the adventure of your life be a mistake?! Sounds like you are in for a fabulous time and you wouldnt be embarking on this trip of a lifetime if you were still with him so I say go for it, you have nothing to lose!
i planed to go australia next week but it seem to drop because of this Australian visa i really feel bad with this Extension of my visa
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