New Year?!

Like most people i celebrate New Years Eve.

Why? For me they have never been much to right home about. At 14 i got drunk on a litre of cider down the park with some friends, passed out, threw up in my living room and got grounded for a month. At 16 i went a bit further afield, could not get a taxi home, lost my friends and bag and very nearly had to walk nine miles home in the freezing cold. At 18 i thought my New Years would get better because i could legally go into a pub....nope! In fact it's worse and its the same every year. There is always that one girl in the toilet crying her eyes out because some boy has dumped her. The loud, drunk slightly mad older guy at the bar alone annoying everyone. The friend you used to go to school with but now have nothing to say to them. The young 18 year old lad that has drunk too much shandy and cannot stand up straight and bumps into you and there is always a fight. Oh yes New Years Eve would not be complete without the punch up of two very drunk people who have looked at each other 'funny!' My cynicism of New Years was almost bearable however as i had SB by my side for the last 5 years. The first time he told me he loved me was on New Years Eve.

I very nearly didnt go out but one of my good friends and her boyfriend took me under their wing and we went out for a few drinks. I didn't see him. I thought i would and kind of wanted to but i didn't. I guess he was with her. God i hope he didn't tell her he loved her. As 12 o clock approached we all gathered around the church tower in the centre of town as we did every year, 10-9-8-7-6........... Happy New Year! I looked around me watching people hug, kiss, cry and sing. I got it. These people just for that moment in time really did believe that this year would be a happy one and better was to come. I felt very lonely. Then friend, grabbed me, threw her arms around me and said 'this really is going to be the best year for you ever! Now let's get back to the bar!' and you know i believed her. Who knew where i would be or who i would be with at that moment in 12 months time?? All i knew is that i was looking forward to getting there - all alone.