It seem's that when i get to the stage where i feel like i have really made progress something pop's up and pushes me right back to square one.
After my first date in over 6 months went well, and i felt like i could like this person i experienced a mini meltdown in the internet cafe yesterday. All because of fucking facebook!
I was doing the rounds, writing emails home, telling everyone i was ok and then i quickly logged on to facebook to see what messages i had. I had a great one from the 'first date' guy which made me smile. I then saw on my news feed list that one of MY friends from back home was now 'friends' with HER. Yes the her that is now the girlfriend of my ex. Not only was her name right in front of me, she was on facebook and requesting my friends as her friends.
I don't know what happened but i lost it. I clicked on her name to look at her picture - i couldn't get into her profile as obviously we are not friends but i could look through all of her current ones and saw not just one of my friends but several.
I desperately wanted to see her profile - to see if she had pictures of the two of them - to see if it said she was in a 'relationship'. I seriously thought of anyway i might be able to hack into someones profile to see it. I was like a women possessed.
The sad thing is, it only took that to make me feel all the hurt feelings i thought i was starting to leave behind. I forgot about 1st date guy and how well we got on. I spent the entire night not being able to sleep and thinking about SB and her.
I woke this morning and still had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach - what is it going to take for me to really move on?
After my first date in over 6 months went well, and i felt like i could like this person i experienced a mini meltdown in the internet cafe yesterday. All because of fucking facebook!
I was doing the rounds, writing emails home, telling everyone i was ok and then i quickly logged on to facebook to see what messages i had. I had a great one from the 'first date' guy which made me smile. I then saw on my news feed list that one of MY friends from back home was now 'friends' with HER. Yes the her that is now the girlfriend of my ex. Not only was her name right in front of me, she was on facebook and requesting my friends as her friends.
I don't know what happened but i lost it. I clicked on her name to look at her picture - i couldn't get into her profile as obviously we are not friends but i could look through all of her current ones and saw not just one of my friends but several.
I desperately wanted to see her profile - to see if she had pictures of the two of them - to see if it said she was in a 'relationship'. I seriously thought of anyway i might be able to hack into someones profile to see it. I was like a women possessed.
The sad thing is, it only took that to make me feel all the hurt feelings i thought i was starting to leave behind. I forgot about 1st date guy and how well we got on. I spent the entire night not being able to sleep and thinking about SB and her.
I woke this morning and still had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach - what is it going to take for me to really move on?
2 comments:
You left the country but memories don't die out with a stamp on the passport. All that you can do at this time is to move on and enjoy what you have and the guy who you met. Obsessing over SB or her would only make things worst. And if your friends are ending up in her friends list on something as useless as facebook give them the benefit of doubt!!!
damm facebook!! seriously...how dare she makes friends with your friends!
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